Just recently I had this conversation about what people notice first on a person they meet. Is it a mustache, hair, eyes or smile? What do you notice first? For me it’s a tone of person`s voice. If I like it, I have much more comfort straight away. And if I don’t, I feel uncomforable, maybe until I get to know the person a little bit more. But there is another profound question I’d like to address here, today.
What about gender?
Do you notice gender of people you meet? Do you notice deliberately and think about it for a second? Well, I don’t. And just a few days ago I found out I’m not the only one. I start to notice only when people begin to do some non-conforming gender task, or something outside of a stereotype for men and women. So I might finally think “He’s a man” for the first time when *he* can name more than 10 colours. And I finally notice that “She’s a woman” when *she* laughs at filthy jokes. I humbly admit; I’m a victim of stereotypes too. I can’t help it, so don’t judge me. But there is another pattern here!
Getting to know someone more
The more I know somebody, the less I care about their gender. With some of my friends it went even to the point where I don’t think about their sex. I act all the same when I’m with girls and boys. So that means I’m secure around certain people, right? Yes, but…I found out I have no problem to interact with any one of them, since I perceive them as a person. As a character. As a soul inside something unimportant. And my question here is: Am I the only one? Is it normal?
When I was little I had no problem to approach anybody, if I liked them. So my parents had some serious troubles with me, approaching homeless people thinking I’m just too naive for the world. As time passed by, I learnt to make a first impression of people after few sentences. However, I don’t judge people in first 5 minutes or so after we get engaged in a conversation :). Or at least I try not to. But who knows, it’s true that I liked trash cans and bins too when I was a kid!
What people talk about after first meeting
I noticed that most of the people talk about appearance of person they just met. Does she look elegant in that dress? What about her hairstyle.. That dude is dressed too good not to be gay or metro. And look at him, how he holds that glass of wine! (I wish I was making these up, but I’m not). But I don’t really care about that stuff. Sure, it’s interesting, to some extent. Still, I think there are more relevant things like- is that person enjoyable? Is that person mysterious, or do they have an interesting story to tell? Is she/he normal? Do they share their interests with me?
And that’s it. I don’t really understand people commenting on every little thing, although I can see it too. So if somebody asks me what I think about that guy, my honest reply would be: “I find him interesting and kind of nice.” Bam. That’s it. But there are exceptions too, of course. Sometimes I just can’t resist and leave a spicy remark. Nobody’s a saint.
What do you notice straight away on a person you meet for the first time?